So its weird right? a random stranger that just asked a rhetorical question and is about tell other strangers my life story. I dont really no were to start other than to say that im listening to the song “I wanna dance with somebody” if your gonna read this blog or whatever you call it your gonna have to deal with the worst grammar but eh. Im gonna start from the beginning my mum and dad was in bed and decid…Im gonna stop right there and skip that part but a month later my mum found out she was pregnant a few month later she and my dad took a scan and boom they found out they was having… TWIN BOYS!! Yes I know im a twin anyways on the ninth month was when my mum was gonna give birth but we was born 2 weeks early on the 26th of July. My head popped out first making me the oldest and my other brother 2 minutes younger I imagined me sitting in my mums arms alone until a saw another boy who looked like 4 years older another brother?! the two minutes went past and my brothers head popped out to it was tragic. Years later and im talking like 8 years later me and my twin brother was so close and wore everything the same, same hair, same clothing. My older brother was a nice caring brother until…Puberty it was horrible it was like an angel turnt into a devil, 5 years later me and my twin brother drifted in a way we stopped wearing the same clothing, hairstyles and personality wise was different he was meaner. I never mentioned about school there wasn’t a lot to say until high school I didn’t really fit in with the athletic people nore the nerds but my friendship group was all girls “oh no, Girls” is probably what your thinking but no I didn’t want to kiss them I wasn’t sexually attracted to them in any way. I met another girl she hung out with the misbehaving kids and my friendship group was drawn to them but she wasn’t always bad she was getting influenced by others. As me and her became closer she had secrets she was transgender…and wanted to be a boy I was okay with this as I had a secret to!
Im gay…I never really told anyone only until i felt comfortable around the misbehaving kids that influenced me to do bad stuff and I became a misbehaving kid to I told another person who was also transgender. Transitioning from female to male he looked crazily handsome and manly so I told him my deepest darkest secret but the word got out and he told people who told others. But he hooked me up with another guy who was kind hearted and so nice but i effed it up, I was horrible to him and called him names pretending to be someone else. I then told him it was me and his mum messaged my mum. My mum called me in and asked me why but I panicked and told her I was gay as I thought that the other guys mum would tell mine. She said “Your not gay…Your dad would be so dissapointed in you..its a phase”. Something like that anyways, That night I cried all night but woke up as everything was normal my mum didnt tell my dad but when going back to school I got this nervous feeling that turnt small things into big things I got anxiety it was horrible it was like words in my mind trying to get out and say the truth and the other side is telling me lies. I went back to school a few weeks past and that girl i met that wanted to be a boy was lieing to herself she wanted to be nothing but a girl but she felt she had to fit in(not the one who spreaded my secret) she became my bestest friend lets call her Jm, Jm was my bestest friend and she was also bisexual so we always felt comfortable around each other then she fell for my brother, my twin but i was excited at this point but felt as she was joking but now I know she wasn’t at all. My life became hard when my brothers started picking on me calling me names and I forgot to mention my mum gave birth to 2 more beautiful girls. My dads really hard on me wants me to fit in with boys, have manly like haircuts, wear manly clothes and wanted me to like sports I hate sports by the way its by far the worst subject in my school ever! no one really understood home life like Jm she always supports me and still does. I never told you that im 13. No one really cares or talks to me about my home life but I wouldnt really want them to, Me and Jm decided to fix ourselves up and become better in school as so we did. I started messaging another guy who I like but lives so far from me but he claims his straight which I have my suspicions on. Lifes gotten so hard and im afraid of the world and society finding out my secret.
I decided from now on im gonna regularly talk about my day almost as im keeping a diary but im sharing it with you.